The Newest Vitamin Miracle Drug: C for Cracked Up (NaturalNews Mocking)

Damn it, I think I’m going to need a weekend to mock the infographic. I need the time to do freaking research, and I have homework to do.

In the meanwhile, since we got all serious for the last week or so (or as serious as possible), let me by some time with one of my favorite things to do: NaturalNews mocking!

To start off with, apparently Vitamin C is the cure for over 30 different diseases, including chicken pox, rubella, measles, mumps, tetanus, and polio. You know, the ones that we can prevent now with our vaccines?

And of course, toss on some conspiracy and some anti-science nonsense, and we have your typical NaturalNews article, void on facts and chock full of Vitamin Wut!

Let’s get started.

Over 75 years of medical research and clinical practice reveals, overwhelmingly, that vitamin C has the power to ignite the ‘self-healing response’.

I thought that my immune system does just fine on its own? I mean, if Vitamin C can “ignite the self-healing response”, why doesn’t it work to cure AIDS? Why can’t it cure my hypothyroidism? And why is it that if I cut myself today, my skin will still heal itself even if I haven’t eaten any substantial Vitamin C source in over 24 hours? After all, Vitamin C is water soluble, and you need to take in more every single day.

Medical students receive little nutritional training – only 2 hours in 4 years!

[citation needed]

Believe it or not, in the 1940’s, Dr. Klenner used vitamin C to cure 60 out of 60 cases of polio and that was back in the days when the polio vaccine didn’t even exist. Dr. Klenner even presented his findings – at a large medical conference about his success with high dose vitamin C therapy and it was largely ignored.

ZOMG MEDICAL CONSPIRACY! BIG PHARMA! BIG SCIENCE! BIG CHEM!

But seriously, I’d like to read these case studies. I think there’s more to this than Adams is telling us (as if he can read anything scientific anyhow), but I can’t prove it without the documents relating to the case studies itself.

Instead, big pharma has a stranglehold ‘death grip’ over the I.Q. of most doctors – brainwashing them into believing that toxic antibiotics that destroy intestinal flora (and the immune system) is a ‘wiser’ choice.

Brainwashing? The horror!

How the hell do antibiotics kill off the immune system though? Someone explain that one to me, because I can’t imagine it.

I mean, I’m aware that antibiotics can kill bacteria (duh), but that doesn’t mean that antibiotics will kill you, the person. Otherwise, we’d die from eating chocolate.

Dr. Klenner was one of the first physicians to cure disease with vitamin C. In fact, he consistently eliminated chicken pox, measles, mumps, tetanus and polio with huge doses of IV vitamin C. And, keep in mind, Dr. Klenner did this when vaccines didn’t even exist.

[citation or case studies needed]

Dr. Klenner cured pneumonia, encephalitis, herpes zoster (shingles), herpes simplex, mononucleosis, pancreatitis, hepatitis, rocky mountain spotted fever, bladder infections, alcoholism, arthritis, some cancers, leukemia, atherosclerosis, ruptured intervertebral disc, high cholesterol, corneal ulcers, diabetes, glaucoma, radiation burns – the list goes on and on.

Vitamin C can cure all of that? Really, now? Now how does that work, exactly?

After all, some of these diseases are autoimmune disorders (arthritis, and I believe type 1 diabetes), and do you really want to amp up your immune system more? Wouldn’t that, uh, make it worse?

And ruptured disks? How would Vitamin C do anything to fix that? Could Vitamin C even get into the disk itself? Are we sending out white blood cells to the site? Is Vitamin C smart enough to figure out what you want it to do?

And cancer? How does Vitamin C get into the cancer cells and fix the DNA back to normal? Or are we using it to amp up the immune system again?

And how does Vitamin C get rid of high cholesterol, or soften your arteries? Does it have hands to kneed the arteries back together? Does it suck up the cholesterol? Where does the excess go? Where are the waste products?

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!!!

He published dozens of papers – just ‘google’ Dr. Klenner and you’ll be amazed at what you find.

I did. I was not surprised.

Just pages and pages of SCAM pages, saying the same thing over and over and over.

That’s going to help your credibility, there, Adams.

And then we have the testimonials. Appeal to authority and popularity much?

Adams, I hate to tell you this, but even if you get half of the world to believe you, you’re still wrong. Even if you get half of the Nobel prize winners, you’d still be wrong. Just because a lot of people endorse your product doesn’t mean that your opinion is suddenly fact. You need evidence, which you don’t have.

If you do have evidence, please post them now. But I have to warn you, since you’re claiming this to cure thirty different diseases, you’re going to need very strong evidence, and it better be extraordinary.

In the meanwhile, let’s all celebrate the fact that we’re getting closer to Friday! Yay!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s