Bleach Your Cancer Away with Hydrogen Peroxide! (NaturalNews Mocking)

No really. NaturalNews is seriously suggesting that we should bleach cancer away with a 35% solution of hydrogen peroxide.

What the hell? I’d use something stronger, except for the fact that the hydrogen peroxide is sanitizing my potty mouth.


Take deep breaths, deep, deep breaths.




Okay. let’s just mock this thing, because WTF?

Cancer is dangerous.

Well yeah, metastatic disease is quite terrible and can kill you if it goes too far out. Duh?

Don’t flirt with disaster.

How the hell do you flirt with a cancer cell?

Don’t eat it and don’t go near it.

Um, no one’s telling you to go eat a Petri dish full of HeLa cells.

Don’t drink it.

How do you drink cancer cells? I highly doubt that you can make a cancer smoothie, since the blades can easily chop up the cellular membranes of the cells. And you can’t really make a soup out of it, since the heat of the boiling water will kill it.

Don’t put it on your skin.

Why are you putting Petri dish medium on your skin?

Yes, this is a warning not to put cancer on or inside your body.

Because we all have access to Petri dishes full of cancer cells.

Cancer is in GMO pesticide DNA seed designs and the treatments used on vegetables and fruit.

We inject Petri dish medium filled with cancer cells into DNA? How does that work?

Also, since I’m presuming that they’re discussing Bt toxin. Bt toxin is highly specific and only affects specific receptors located in the GI tract in certain insects. Furthermore, Bt toxins are used in organic farming, as it is a natural pesticide, and has been used in organic farming for five decades.

In addition, you do realize that you’re supposed to wash fruits and vegetables before you consume them, right? If you wash them well (which isn’t exactly hard), there won’t BE any residue on your fresh fruits and veggies.

Toxicity is in the dose, people.

Cancer is in sun block lotions full of toxins that hold in your sweat and block out the vitamin D you would normally get from the sun.

Wait, since when did we create a sunblock that was impervious to sweat? Aren’t you supposed to reapply every few hours because the sunblock sweats off?

And aren’t foods fortified nowadays so that we get Vitamin D in our diets? I mean, even the Skin Cancer Foundation recommends AGAINST walking around in the sun without sunblock just for Vitamin D, and states that there is no evidence that we’re lacking in Vitamin D, let alone that additional Vitamin D will prevent against cancer (among other things).

Also, uh, in case you forgot, UV rays freaking cause skin cancer, which is why they ask us to use sunblock in the first place.

Cancer is in cosmetics, makeup, soaps, toothpaste and shampoos.

Because we sneakily put in HeLa cells during the manufacturing process.

Cancer may be lurking in your refrigerator, your pantry and in your medicine cabinet […]

Why are you hoarding Petri dishes of cancer cells in your house?

Cancer has a rival that destroys it like an M-60 leveling a field of enemy soldiers. It’s called “hydrogen peroxide,” […]

Isn’t that the same stuff that Mother used to pour onto my cuts when I hurt myself? Stun like hell, that.

[…] and the “lame-stream,” mainstream media will tell you how “dangerous” it is at 35%,

Uh, because it is?

People have used hydrogen peroxide to make bombs. We can use it to power rockets. We bleach wood pulp, manufacture bleach, disinfect stuff, and make glow sticks out of the stuff. And you want us to drink this stuff?

What are you, high?

[…] but they won’t tell you that you can drip a couple drops in a glass of water each day and end cancer.

Because drinking what is essentially bleach is going to end well.

Cancer thrives in an acid-heavy system, […]

[citation needed]

Also, seriously, you won’t die of acidosis before then?

The heart and brain struggle to filter out the toxins […]

Because the heart and the brain are the ones in charge of breaking down toxins, and not the liver. Geez, if you can’t even your basic anatomy right, how the hell do you even think you’re qualified to give ANY medical advice, whatsoever?

This is why the doctors and oncologists tell chemo patients not to eat alkalizing foods like kale, because it will “interfere with the chemotherapy.”

Say what now? Doctors don’t tell you to eat kale?

Most cancer patients die as a result of the chemotherapy and radiation damage to their non-cancerous cells.

[citation SORELY needed]

In other words, your good cells that are trying to help your body beat cancer are deprived of oxygen also, leading to new cancers and often death within 5 years.

Because cancer happens due to lack of oxygen, and not screwed up DNA.

All pathogens, viruses, and parasites are anaerobic. They […] cannot survive with an abundance of oxygen

Some examples of pathogens that are facultative anaerobic (as in they can live with or without oxygen):

Yeah, so it really depends on what kind of anaerobic we’re talking about.

What should you do, whether you have cancer or not? Alkalize your body, that’s what.

Because our body totally thrives at a pH over 7.5, and won’t accidentally kill us.

Also, isn’t hydrogen peroxide, like, slightly acidic?

It has been clinically demonstrated that the spread or metastatis of cancer is “inversely proportional to the amount of oxygen around the cancer cells.”

[citation needed that’s not NaturalNews]

Hydrogen peroxide kills cancer cells, because cancer cells do not have the mechanism to break down the hydrogen peroxide and stop it from doing its work.

[citation needed]

The key to curing cancer with hydrogen peroxide is getting ENOUGH hydrogen peroxide INSIDE the cancer cells.

From the American Cancer Society:

According to a review article in CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians, attempts to treat patients by injecting hydrogen peroxide directly into solid tumors or into the blood system have generally been ineffective.

So how do you think consuming hydrogen peroxide, which is much less exact compared to direct injection, would do? Also, how would hydrogen peroxide be smart enough to know to just go to that cancer cell, and not go to some healthy cell?

Proteolytic enzymes, also called pancreatic enzymes, literally cut apart the thick protein coating that covers cancer cells, so the immune system can recognize the cells as cancerous.

This is on so many different levels of wrong that it’s not even wrong anymore.

That’s how wrong this statement is.

I will just leave this link right here.

Nobel prize winner Dr. Otto Warburg demonstrated OVER 50 YEARS AGO the basic difference between normal cells and cancer cells. Both derive energy from glucose, but the normal cell requires oxygen to combine with the glucose, while cancer cells break down glucose without oxygen, yielding only about 1/15 of the energy per glucose molecule that a normal cell produces.

Because normal human cells don’t go through anaerobic respiration.

Hint: they do.

Hydrogen peroxide and several other oxygen therapies are proven to be safe and effective. Pay attention to what you buy though, because 35% food grade hydrogen peroxide is the only grade recommended for internal use.

Because the FDA actually wanted to you consume bleach.

Food grade hydrogen peroxide is approved for cleaning work surfaces, and it has to completely decompose into hydrogen and oxygen before you can actually use said surface to prepare food. IT IS NOT TO BE CONSUMED.

Some individuals add a cup of 35% food grade hydrogen peroxide to a bathtub of warm water and soak for 20 to 30 minutes. The hydrogen peroxide is absorbed through the skin, which is your largest organ. Others drink a glass of water with several drops of food or reagent grade hydrogen peroxide.

Side effects of drinking hydrogen peroxide include

  • vomiting
  • severe burns in your throat and stomach
  • trouble breathing
  • blindness
  • stroke
  • death

Side effects of bathing in hydrogen peroxide include

  • bleached skin
  • blistering
  • burns
  • serious breathing problems from breathing in the vapors


Let me repeat this one more time: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. EVER.



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