“For All You Kids at Home, Santa Just Is White” And Other Racist Bullshit On Fox News

Santa Claus FAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Credit to Beverly Mahone.

This is Santa Claus? FAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Credit to Beverly Mahone.

As I think everyone’s heard by now, Megyn Kelly has declared Santa to be forever whiter than fresh fallen snow. In fact, if you think that Santa can be anything OTHER than white, then just suck it up kids, because he’s white! After all, Kelly said so!

A few days ago, Fox News decided to discuss Aisha Harris’s article “Santa Claus Should Not Be a White Man Anymore”. In this article, Harris discusses how confused she was as a child when she saw both a black Santa at home and a white Santa everywhere else, and proposes that Santa be a penguin instead, in order to allow other children to share in holiday cheer without feeling alienated and shameful over the idea that Santa isn’t the same color as them.

Of course, as Fox is wont to do, Kelly just had to say this to the children:

For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white. But this person is just arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa. But Santa is what he is. […] Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change, you know? I mean, Jesus was a white man too. He was a historical figure, that’s a verifiable fact, as is Santa — I just want the kids watching to know that.

Are You Serious?

Wow. Uh. Yeah, “just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change”? Does that mean that just because you feel uncomfortable if someone is standing on your foot that it doesn’t have to change? Do you really want to make that argument?

The stupidity and the privileged position in knowing that Santa Claus will represent your race no matter where you go. It’s just too much.

And of course, as Jon Stewart said in regards to the “for all you kids watching at home” thing (forgive the ableism in the link), “[W]ho are you actually talking to? Children who are sophisticated enough to be watching a news channel at ten o’clock at night, yet innocent enough to believe that Santa Claus is real, yet racist enough to be freaked out if he isn’t white?”

Seriously. Fox News, news flash, but Santa Claus isn’t real.

And then of course, then there was the claim that Jesus was white:

Jesus was a white man too. You know, it’s like, he was a historical figure, it’s verifiable fact.

Jesus is white? Even though he was born in Bethlehem, in what is now Israel? Which, in case you forgot, is in the Middle East?

Hey Jews! According to Megyn Kelly, you’re apparently white now! Congrats! Please pick up your “Hey guys, I’m totally white!” cards at your local synagogue this Saturday, right after service, and join the ruling class of the racial hierarchy. Antisemitism is now over! You won’t be targeted by neo-Nazis and white supremacists ever again!

So many eyeballs lost, so little time to find them. Guess it's time for me to go get more eyeballs from Costco.

So many eyeballs lost, so little time to find them. Guess it’s time for me to go get more eyeballs from Costco. DAMN IT!

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